So I haven't really talked much about who I am.

I was born in Brazil, adopted as a baby, and grew up in Germany. When I was ten, I moved to MA with my family because of my dad's job...and I've been living here since, for about 10 years.

So I have always had a visa to go to school here...I am currently in College...but obviously I am getting older and it looks like I am going to be making a life here. So the point is... since I've never been a citizen I have never been able to have a real job besides baby sitting.

My parents have finally decided to apply me and my siblings for green cards. Because of that we have had to get all our information together. My dad just came back from Germany and brought all the documents that he had kept stored away there. Obviously I was eager to look at them.

I have always know that I was adopted, my parents have never kept that secret from me...so my dad had no problems showing me all the documents. I have always imagined meeting my biological mom...wondering what she was like, if she looked like me/thought like me or if I had any half siblings etc.

So I was looking at all the pages of information of what my parents went through to adopt me...finally I got to the pages that talked about my biological mom and her history...her birthday: Jan 3, 1973...I was born in 1988...that means she was only 15 when she had me...14 when she got pregnant...1 year older than my little sister is now...

I donnu it's just so weird to think that she is only 36 years old when I am only about to turn 21...I wonder what she is doing at this very moment...what her life is like...if she is at all like me. Even if I met her...what would I say? What do you say to your biological mom whom you have never met?

There are a couple of obstacles to even achieving to meet her... first of....how am I going to find her... ?? I hear that it is hard to find people in Brazil...especially in the poor areas because they dont really keep track of where people move(if they do)...second, I would have to learn Portuguese to even be able to communicate with her... and then...like I said before...what would I say to her? Would she even want to meet me? What is her view on having had me??

 There is more to this story...but I am not yet able to get into details...I just needed to get this part off of my chest...

Any opinions or thoughts are welcome...